Sat nervously, twiddling my fingers, biting my lips and browsing around the waiting room which, with no change over the years contained the musty old smell of past patients,in the far right hand corner an old wooden bookcase with overly dusty children’s books with missing and torn pages , to the centre of the room , an over polished smelling coffee table with magazines from back in 2002, infront of the bookcase sits a blue tub in the corner of the room with a select few of the “best” range of kids toys that will without a doubt entertain your children for the whole of two minutes, glancing round the room i look at the endless pin boards covering the four walls around me which all held leaflets and posters of all the things that “could” be wrong with you. i sit there and i wait i notice the patients, a young lady, well dressed and well done up, red lipstick, curled hair and tight bodycon dress, i couldn’t see anything from eye that could be wrong with her but i had already started pre-judging, her names claire rusko and was a mistress of a rich man called don hugo ,a west-end business marketeer manager,although a married man with 3 children and one on the way they met secretly for their passionate love affair,ripping their clothes off each other enjoying their secret lives together. then returning home to their dull,boring old lives until they met again to relive their desire and want for eachother. they had secret “business” trips to paris and greece and spent weekends together, having lie-ins with breakfast in bed , 5 star luxury love affair is what they had and they loved it and have no intentions of revealing their secrecy.

Quietly hunched over in the corner was an elderly lady, very pale looking and definately looked older than she actually is,she wore the scarf around her grey curled hair and layers upon layers of clothing that made her look larger than she actually was but she gets cold easily i have been told maybe due to age or a bad immune system, her name is maurine goldsmith , a recent widower of an old shoe maker travis goldsmith, died of unknown reasons, rumours say she poisoned him others say he had a heart attack who knows? , she seemed a secretive woman and even when approached probably would not say much to you, she was muttering under her breath not that i could hear anything that she was saying, she seemed troubled and quite frightened little old lady but didn’t seem to be of any threat.I mean after all she is just a dear old lady right?.

“Mrs Russle Please” said the half entered doctor through the glass doors , obviously her name i made up was part of my imagination but i was close ,claire perks up, smiles shyly and totters off through the door. A man then enters from the other door,the entrance and takes the next nearest seat to the door, a shabby looking guy,with casual shabby clothing that had obviously been chucked on, i think to myself this guy is a millionaire of the district but never feels the need to wear high end clothing, a mechanic of some sort as he has hands that are in his eyes clean but in ours are full of black patches and are far from clean and his clothes smelt of oil , he seemed quite a confident chap who knew his job well , his name is mick gould , a rugged, barely shaven face,tired but obsessed with his job, he has a wife and 3 children, his wife doesn’t work and lives up in the mansion down the road from his business, the son being slightly off the rails as his father had never spent much time with him as his work was everything, he doesn’t know how to take a day off, his daughter in university and alot like hehr father , strong minded and motivated and his youngest daughter at primary school and spends most of her days at home with the mother. the wife was a dolly bird sort of lady , owns 3 horses and a stable , has bright blonde hair with whitened teeth, boob job and clothes shipped in from boutiques in america, she was living the high life and mick was working to the bone, but he knows no different, so he feels he is fulfilled and happy.

I took an interest into this mechanic and found his life that i just made was intriguing to think of, i found it amazing how he led two completely different lifestyles the main one being at his yard and the other that he goes to at night time at the mansion. An amazing man who built his wealth from nothing to everything, he was always tight with money and never gave it out often to anyone but i doubt he became rich by giving money out to people all the time. ” Mrs Golden Please” The doctor quickly disappears as quickly as he peeked in, another sigh as my imagination has been proved to have run away with me a little. i sit and take random glances at mick trying to figure out more of his lifestyle, he has a bad temper but a good heart and has done what every other UK citizen should be doing which is working hard for your money but he needs a rest not that he knows how to. i sit and think that i really hope that i have his life right because sitting in this dusty old doctors waiting room it was the only thing from keeping me from going insane.

“Mr Gould Please…”

I smile as Mr GOULD enters into the doctors room….

Recently i had the experience of losing a friend, which was tragically impossible to deal with , but it still connected to my voyeurism project that i had to do with the summer, as it became obvious to the outside eyes that there were peekers of this tragedy, it was a horrific death and it was plastered all over the news about the death of my friend but on the day of the funeral as walking to he church i could see peekers, people with heads against the metal bars that surrounded the church, looking in to see the grieving group of people who were close to my friend, i could see them thinking to themselves and imagining what the people inside were feeling and thinking up stories in their heads as to what happened, how it happened, what my friend was like, what he did in his lifetime and how he lived it. i could see all those thoughts loudly expressing themselves as i walked past them, many had looks of disgust to the onlookers but i could see a natural part of life and it is only normal to pre judge, to see things from that point of view is only ever a mystery to the ‘peeker’.

Peekers were everywhere that day but many never noticed their whole focus was to get through the day as strongly and as quickly as possible .

The day was captured and described as a happy celebration of the life of my friend and was perfect but it was unknown peekers such as this that captured the scene hand have spent time to try and fit together the pieces of the questions they have rolling in their heads of what my friend was like and how he lived!. 

i have nothing against peekers it leads a lifetime of questions that don’t necessarily get answered and gave me the perfect idea of my short story that i wanted to write about .:)

quoted from a peeker in one of the local newspapers:

“One friend, Sen Harrison, wrote: “You left behind so many people that are lost without you. It seems surreal that this has happened to you.

“It hurts for the people that saw your cheeky face every day, hurts for the people who need you and wanted you to be their lifelong friend and it hurts for the future friends and family that are never going to get the chance to have that time with you.”“.

I embarrassingly did not know what this word was and it took a little bit of researching into it, but my initial thoughts on this word was that it had something to do with documenting of some sort, the word voyeur made me think of the word voyage so boats came to mind, searching and seeking things also was in my head.

After searching the actual definition of voyeurism this is what came up:a perversion in which a person receives sexual gratification from seeing the genitalia of others or witnessing others’ sexual behavior.« i must say seeing this as a general definition of this word did panic me as i thought , stories based on this could get messy , but looking over what i had to do , our stories were based on voyeurism in a non-sexual way and it was a video from charlotte baileys blog that helped me understand voyeurism in that way alot better and gave me ideas on what i should write and how. ( Link Below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kCcZCMYw38

This video helped me come up with the doctors surgery as it reminded me of sitting in that waiting room looking round the room at the other patients and imagining what their lives are all about, imagining what they do and what they are like. so on the grounds of what i have said this is what motivated me to write about the doctors surgery and as said before i have been very entertained writing about it and trying to make it as detailed as possible so that the reader really feels like they are there and understand exactly where they are and what they are doing in my story.

Anger has over ridden me as i am for the second time re writing this post as i have already written this out and for some stranger reason the tab on my internet deleted the tumblr site and deleted everything! so once again i am re writing what i just wrote !

Yesterday i visited Trafalgar square to go to the facinating glamour of the gods exhibition which was fantastic to go and see, i am below going to post the images that i noted down that captured my eye when having a look through the exhibition, there was some fantastic images and i thoroughly enjoyed learning more about different photographers and the photographs that they produced.

To update you on my progress of my story it is in the making still and i have decided to call my short story ‘The Doctors Surgery’ and i have had a ball of a time making up the individual stories of the things i am describing in my little tale, it has entertained and amused me everytime i go back to read it, i will also be posting my thoughts on what i first thought of the words voyeurism and then commenting on the actual definition of voyeurism and also how i came about doing my story on ’ the doctors surgery’ .

To Begin with!:

This image automatically became an attraction to me because these two word my childhood favourites to watch,many a times these two gave me major stitches in my stomach because of their antics, the photographer has perfectly captured their cheeky nature in this photo and the shadows in the background has allowed these two to stand out of the image . the photographer has beautifully portrayed their personalities.

This image was the first image from the ages that was in colour from the 1940’s and it was beautifully attractive, elizabeth taylor was portrayed by this photographer as a god like ,serene,beautiful woman, and it was one of if not my favourite image from the entire exhibition , the choice of the background colour was perfectly suited to elizabeth as it went well against her black curled hair and her bright red lipstick it also went perfectly with her velvet purple dress and softened the image in general. my mum came with me to the exhibition, she informed me that this lady was the sole reason michael jackson wanted to change his image the way he wanted to, he was following elizabeth and wanted to be just like her and it came as no suprise to me because she is a beautiful woman .

By Tom Kelley, another of the select few of colour images that caught my eye , on the description this was an image that was taken before she became an actress and it was part of a calendar that had been made for her, this image was taken in 1949 and i love luscious,very red coloured sheet in the background that was draped as a downward position in the very similar position that marilyn was positioned, she embraced the background of the image to be in conjunction with her. a beautifully positioned image with lighting softly kissing her body to allow a glow on her face and body, it was a very soft image that was obviously done to be an erotic yet teasing image.

By Leo Fuchs, a photo taken in 1961, a very strong and masculine image with a dark black background which again enhanced the masculine feel of the image, i love the strong lighting that highlighted Rock Hudsons face and how he was positioned to not look straight into the camera with his ruffled white shirt, opened and his strong fixated look at something on set.

Again my mum had informed me that this star was the first star in the celebrity world that unfortunately so sadly and tragically died of AIDS. 

By George Hurrell, a photo taken in 1942 and straightaway stood out as it looked like she was advertising a shampoo for a magazine, it was glossy and a brightly displayed image, her serious look , still made the image look playful as the position of the hair loosened up the image , again she was not looking into the camera and was fixated on something else on set and it worked perfectly well with the image, the shadows gently forming on the cheek bones of her face showed us the structure of her facial bones. a beautiful woman and a beautiful photograph .

Although there was plenty more images that were lovely to read upon these images were probably the most eye catching and what i enjoyed more to look at. it became clear throughout the exhibition that the photographer clarence sinclair bull became a favourite to be used for photographing the celebrities of the years and i have no doubt as to why he was chosen he was a fantastic photographer and really knew the ways of the stardom world.